7 May 2010:
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We drag
our butts out of bed in Barcelona at 2:45am to start a very long day of traveling.
The taxi arrives on schedule and we head through night toward the
Barcelona airport. I am too tired to even look at the sights. Somehow we get to the airport where even before
4:30am there is a line for check-in. It seems that the damned unpronounceable volcano in Iceland is kicking up a fuss again
and everyone is trying to get out of town while the airport is still open…..which, depending on who you listen to…..could
be closing any minute now. I am starting to feel depressed over the idea of schlepping our 3 giant checked bags and
4 carry-ons through the winding labyrinth that is the check-in line, then I see a ray of hope……There is a priority
check-in lane for Business/First Class passengers. While I am normally too cheap to pay the ridiculous price the
airlines want for Business Class, on this trip I cashed in some of the American Express points that I’ve been hoarding
since 1983 and got enough KLM/Air France “Flying Blue” air miles to book Business Class. Flashing my priority
boarding e-Ticket, I am now the third person in line for check-in.
Once the bags are checked and we have our boarding passes, we have a couple of hours to kill in the
KLM lounge…..which is a wonderful little oasis of calm and quiet in the now rowdy, loud and packed Barcelona airport.
The lounge has comfortable chairs, a darkened “Rest Zone” sleeping area (which I would love to use, but I think
if I go to sleep, I’ll never wake up in time for the flight)…..and much to my delight….espresso machines.
After three double-espressos, some yogurt and a pastry, I am ready to travel. I am looking forward to my large comfortable
Business Class seat, my “welcome onboard” glass of champagne and orange juice and my personal entertainment system.
Boarding is painless…..I think.
Actually I don’t remember. In spite of my ‘off the charts’ caffeine level, I am still so tired that
it’s all a blur. What I do notice when I board is that the “Business Class” seat looks a lot like
a coach seat and the welcome aboard glass of champagne is nowhere to be found. I don’t know if this is typical
of ‘Intra-European’ flights on KLM or if the sardine-like packing of the entire cabin is a response to the
large number of people who are traveling due to the recent volcano activity. In any case, I semi-drowse through the
flight and finally become aware that we are landing at Schipol Airport in Amsterdam.
We negotiate the long corridors of Schipol, which require a walk
measured in kilometers, not yards, to get from our arrival gate to our next departure gate. This includes a pass through
security and, because I did not remove my belt before going through the metal detector, it also includes a very thorough pat
down and probe by a security guard…..very, very thorough….if you get my meaning. At the end, the guard
and I share a cigarette and promise to call each other. Yes, security has been heightened at Schipol….it is,
after all, the airport where the recent “underwear bomber” boarded his plane. Well, let me tell you, the
folks at Schipol are on to that underwear trick and they won’t be getting fooled by anyone stuffing their tighty-whitey’s
with explosives again….I am living proof of that.
The boarding gate is packed. It is standing room only. There are way more people on this
flight than there are chairs in the waiting area……and there is another security checkpoint and x-ray screening
to get into the gate. Yep, those Schipol guys are on high alert.
But on boarding my flight, I am pleasantly surprised that Business Class really is Business Class.
I have my giant luxury lounger, lie-flat, seat with my personal entertainment system and my welcome aboard glass of champagne.
All is well. Now we just need to get airborne. Yes, that’s all we need, just get airborne and I’ll
be happy.
…oh,
wait, it turns out that we need one other little thing…..we need a flight crew. The announcement is made that
we are boarded and ready for take-off, but there will be at least another 30 minute delay while we wait for the guys who drive
the plane. This seems strange to me because on most flights that I’m used to the flight crew gets onboard early and
does all that technical stuff, like check lists and communications and warming up the engines and checking the oil pressure
and all that other stuff that you do to keep the plane from falling out of the sky when you are in the middle of the ocean.
But not today. Later, the flight crew arrives, running at full speed, skidding around the corner like a pack of Keystone
Cops. Once they are properly sealed into the cockpit, they make the announcement that they are late, not because they
all partied-hard last night at the Jagermeister Festival and overslept, but because the volcano just kicked up an extra-heavy
belch of ash and the normal flight path has been closed. So they have had to do a last minute re-figure of the flight
plan and they just finished filing the new plan. The new course will add 2 hours to our flying time which means adding more
fuel, but they “hope” to get off the ground and around the critical part of the flight plan before the new
flight corridor is closed.
To cut to the chase….we do get off the ground. And then start heading northeast…..this is definitely
a new flight plan, because the last time I looked at a map, Dallas was south and west of Amsterdam. But we make a big
old loop up north of Iceland and over Greenland and then straight south across Canada and into the U.S. and home.
Let me say I completely enjoyed my big-assed
luxury lounger seat and the service on KLM was excellent….but it was still a long damn flight and it still crossed
a whole bunch of time zones….and I don’t really want to do that again for at least a couple of weeks.
And I think that’s
a wrap for this trip.
Postscript:
10 May 2010:
The following photo was in this morning’s Wall Street Journal and shows the flight status board in Barcelona
last night….everything is closed. So I think we made it out in the nick-of-time:
